Truck Balls


Last Saturday morning we left the house in search of a scale. First of all you should know that I have serious reservations about even owning one. They are like watches to me. It isn’t that I don’t see the value. I just don’t need a watch sitting, like a beacon, on my wrist. I go to bed and wake up with a clock on my nightstand. Time noted. I leave my house using one of four clocks to determine my sendoff: the big wall clock, the microwave, the stove, or the computer. Time noted. I drive to work with the time, exactly seven minutes fast, constantly displayed. As soon as I walk in the door at work there is a clock immediately to my right. Time noted. At the gym…a clock, at the pool…a clock, and for all the moments in between I have my cell to tell me the time if I actually make the effort to go in my backpack and pull it out. There is not a moment in my entire day where it is impossible to “figure out” what time it is. Know that I’m not in anyway downplaying a person’s individual needs. I simply don’t have a personal desire to incorporate a watch into my own life.

And so as mentioned, I share a similar belief in regards to purchasing a scale. Do I really NEED this appliance in my life? I can already tell all on my own when my body is not where I want it. My clothes simply won’t fit great, and it’s usually because I’ve eaten shitty. Eating shitty causes me to physically feel shitty and moody, which then ultimately creates a “reverse beer goggle effect” where I end up hating what I see when I look in the mirror. So in this case is a scale really needed to further enhance what I already know? Furthermore, I don’t believe I need a device to taint what may have been a good day with some number that will then somehow define me.

The majority of my life has purposely not centered on this device. Don’t judge me. I can already hear some of you on the defense. I am not in anyway dispelling the need for a scale nor am I claiming to understand what anyone else has dealt with in terms of weight loss and gain. I have predominantly led an active lifestyle that has mostly consisted of healthy eating, and genetics too have helped create a me that has always been relatively thin. I’m not gloating. I’m just saying. And it doesn’t mean that I haven’t had my own issues, but that is for a different time. Having said ALL of that, counting calories has never been an activity I’ve participated in…until now.

Tyler gave me two books for Christmas that I happened to already have. (He did a good job too because when I read one of them, Food Revolution, it seriously changed how I viewed food). In exchange we found these little books that keep track of food and water intake, as well as daily exercise, for 90 days. This is perfect for me, as I love intrinsic motivators like this that create a goal for me to reach. Last year we did P90x. The year before I trained for the STP. The year before that I trained for a triathlon. And the year before that I ate as a vegetarian. I like pushing myself toward an objective.

In this case, I will count everything that enters my body each day. I’m doing this because throughout my own research and experimentation of “healthy living”, it is an aspect I have purposely avoided. I am at two weeks so far and am completely amazed at the caloric content of certain foods. For example, did you know a cup of walnuts is some 800+ calories? A cup of chocolate drops has about the same caloric count. Crazy. 800 calories! And that is not even looking at the fat content! Holy Jesus! As you can see this is all extremely interesting to me. I am absolutely shocked at what some food items consider to be a “serving size” so that they can keep down the totals on the nutrition label. It is a damn conspiracy!

So, truck balls…anyone see them? On our way to find our scale we drove past what I believe to be one of the most ridiculous sights I have ever seen. I have already encountered these ridiculous car accessories, but never to this extent. Who the F thinks it is cool to hang a pair of nuts from their car in the first place? But this one was like the epitome of douche-baggery. I wish so badly that I had my camera, but the best I can do for you is provide two images that you will have to morph together to create a picture in your mind. The truck was easily the same size as the example picture, if not bigger, with the biggest ass tires I’ve ever seen not in a monster truck show.  The “balls” hanging behind were about the size as those pictured on the car, but again maybe bigger. I’m pretty sure this is the type of unnecessary spending that makes some people dislike Americans. I’m curious…what message is this person attempting to send other than what I have already noted. I guess some people attempt to better themselves while others do shit like this to find happiness.

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