Fall of Society

Now, I by no means consider myself to be any sort of historian nor expert of civilizations past, but I think I get the basic idea of how some societies reached their pinnacle of success only to decline just as substantially.


I don't want to scare anyone...but I think we as a society have reached that point, and I'll tell you why.


Most people wouldn't think that I have a monthly subscription to Cosmopolitan. It is very not me, but for some ridiculous reason, I "enjoy" reading it. I say "enjoy" because I'm pretty sure the bulk of any Cosmo related conversation relayed by me is done so with such intense disgust that I really have no idea why I continue to read it other than to be appalled at what this "ladies" magazine considers newsworthy and what bullshit advice they are currently spouting out. As a sidenote, Tyler found a subscription on groupon for $8 a year, and since an issue is essentially the same cost, I don't really feel as though I'm fully contributing to their cycle of bullshit.


My concern about the downfall of our society is not related specifically to the selling of Cosmo per se. Instead it lies within the pages of what is considered to be advice to some of "our" most pressing concerns, and what we ultimately feel a need to write in so as to receive advice to help ourselves deal. Keep in mind that I highly doubt people are actually writing these questions; chances are some lucky writer on staff has to make up the questions to help sell products. You can't fool me Cosmo. But tomato, tomato you know.


So, I'm just going to share one page of said questions (beauty related) to show how we as a society are obviously no longer in the survival stages. How instead, we have greatly surpassed survival mode and have moved into concerns such as these:


Question 1: Do eyeliners that promise to grow lashes really work?


Question 2: Should I wash my hair before dying it?


Question 3: I'm not totally sure of my skin type. Is there a trick to tell?


Question 4: Why do my legs and feet get itchy during a pedicure?


Question 5: How can I prevent the dent I get on my face during a massage?


Okay, so I get an overall need for general health related questions. Questions like, "Why is my hair falling out?" and  "How can I stop the skin on my hands from drying up and bleeding?" or "Why won't guys talk to me after we've kissed?" I mean, I can see these as fairly genuine concerns that may or may not keep someone from functioning normally in our society.


But to worry about a dent left on your face after a massage...are you kidding? If you are lucky enough to get a massage, then you should probably shut the f up about any sort of "side effect" that may exist. And the same with the pedicure ish. I mean you are paying for someone to be all up in your feet because you can't bend down and paint your toe nails yourself. If your feet somehow react to the chemicals being used, and eventually cause you to have some sort of weird allergic reaction, I kind of think that is your fault, and is by no means a necessity to seek help to counter the effects.


I've said before how it's probably just me, but if these really are our concerns that we are willing to spend time trying to fix or find help for because they're keeping us awake at night, then I seriously need to start typing up my letter to Cosmopolitan asking for help... because I don't see how we're going to make it.

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