On to the Next One...

I have heard from more than one person that work is...well work, and that you shouldn't necessarily expect to enjoy it. In fact, I've known some to hold the belief that it should just be assumed work will suck because...well, it's work.

But, I don't feel that way. Not at all.

Perhaps, I have the "audacity" to free myself of certain hinderances because while Leah and Latimore sure as shit eat a ton of food and biscuits, my responsibilities to provide for them are pretty much finished with their food intake. They would be content sleeping in my car, or in a tent, or outside in general--as long as they were with me. They don't need much more. I think adults with children have a much larger picture to consider before making decisions to stay or go at a job that doesn't seem to fit them.

For me, this will be my second job that I have elected to leave. On my way home today, I began to wonder what others who stay in the positions I have chosen to move on from think of me. Do they see my decision as strong or weak? Do they think I'm crazy to give up on a job in a time where jobs are so hard to come by and money is so tight--especially without having a new position already in place?

Ultimately, it is obviously of no consequence what anyone else thinks of my decisions. I know that. I guess I just truly feel like there is a fit for me out there, and if I force myself to stay in an environment that is not that...I'm just wasting my time.

Luckily, I have been fortunate to have worked with some pretty amazing people--adults and students. Today I received a thank you letter from one of my seventh graders. I started working with her in writing last year, and while she admitted in her letter that she hated writing last year because she just couldn't "get it", she is thankful that this year she doesn't feel that way anymore. It was an incredibly touching and well written letter... and one that I didn't expect at all. It seriously brought tears.

And a few hours later I told my boss I would not be returning next year when she asked me.

Even with a bad class or a bad kid here and there, it has never been the students that weigh me down in education. I don't want to get into all that frustrates me about education right now because at this moment I feel really good about my decision. I have to go with my gut right? I have to do what I think is the right choice for me even if my path is not clearly determined...right Mr. Frost? Because if I don't, then not only am I not being me, I'm losing sight of what is important. And to me, life is not about coming home miserable nor is it about complaining day after day.

And so to the wise words of Whitesnake, take me home..."Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known" [...] "And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time, here I go again."

Comments

  1. I admire your bravery --- I am in a very similar spot. I am a big believer in everything works out in the end.

    -Deanna

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Deanna. It is hard, and I feel like my mind is constantly thinking, "what now". But I think I'd rather being saying that over anything else at this point.

    ReplyDelete

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