Showing posts from September, 2016

Over a month ago...

Over a month ago I was barely sleeping.

Over a month ago I felt uncomfortable walking in my own neighborhood. Not to walk the pups. Not to go to the mailbox.

Over a month ago I didn't want to be left alone anywhere. I didn't even want to stand in the pool by myself if no one was in the backyard. I didn't want to be in the house if my dad or husband were right out back. I didn't go anywhere by myself.

Over a month ago it was near impossible for me to eat.

Over a month ago I brought my water bottle with me bed, to grocery stores, to restaurants.

Over a month ago I had to stop watching This is the End because the sound and content were too much for me to cope with.

My days over a month ago can collectively be considered as the worst...ever.

I'm not the same person I was before all of this started. I'm weak physically. Every day I have to make myself eat. Every day it seems my mind and body are struggling in some new way. Just as I grow accustomed t…

Bee Sting: Semi-Survivor (Part 2)

What a mess. What a fucking mess.

If I could have known that my being stung by a bee would have spiraled me into this, this ridiculous version of myself, trust that I never would have gone to the river that day. (You can read about it here.) It's been almost three months and my body (and mind) are just now showing promise of my returning to the person I was.

I thought I'd have written this post weeks ago...months soon as I got better, but it's obviously taking much longer than I ever imagined. In regards to physical ailments to have ever plagued my body...I've never encountered anything like this. Because of this, I've been hesitant to invest any more time and energy thinking about it. When I feel good I simply don't want to think about how awful I have felt over these last few months.

Have you seen David After Dentist? Of course you have. Start the video at 1:35 and you'll have an extremely accurate representation of my thoughts and feelings over …