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Showing posts from October, 2016

Just a Little Unwell

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Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages of grief. The way I see it, I'm somewhere in between bargaining and depression over a loss, only it's not the loss of a friend or a family member it's the loss of me. It's really the only way I can explain how I'm feeling these days.

It's like I'm a version of myself. Even when I feel "good" it's as if I'm using a different scale. Every time I compare "me now" to the person I feel I used to be I end up feeling depressed, and lonely, and I scare myself with thoughts that this is how the rest of my life is going to be. I can't help it.

My physical issues have mostly dissipated. I still experience weird muscle sensations in my arms and legs, and the heat still seems to bother me; but otherwise I've been able to gradually erase my bulleted list of physical concerns that invaded my life over the summer because of those stupid pills I was taking. I'm eating an…